It’s one of the most notorious lines in TV news mockery — “Well, you were just in a car accident [or other horrible situation], how does this make you feel?”

Why the heck would we ask such a downright ignorant question?

Simple: we don’t know the answer. We can assume we know how a person feels. I’ve been in a car accident. I was freaked out, shaken, startled, worried, sad, angry. I was a lot of things. But which one prevailed?

In my case, it was freaked out. But that’s not the same for everyone.

I was still a part-time photographer when I was sent to a press conference at the Toledo Hospital ER. The mother of a toddler, hit and killed by a car, wanted to speak to the media.

This rarely happens.

As she walked through the sliding doors, none of us could imagine the intense pain she felt watching her young son’s life slowly fade out in a hospital bed. We had no way to put that pain into words that would even come close to capturing the true emotion.

But this mother called us because she wanted to show people what she was going though.

She wasn’t just heartbroken. She was angry — no, “fuming” would be a better word.

She explained how she felt the driver of the car completely disregarded the safety of her child and countless others as she allegedly reached down to pick up her cell phone while traveling down the road.

This response is absolutely understandable, but the fact that these feelings took precedence over all else wasn’t quite what we had anticipated — which is why we have to ask people how they feel.

This mother’s anguish, her hatred for what happened came through our viewfinders and microphones. It resonated with people. It has stuck with me since then.

So trying to pretend we know how someone is feeling, putting words in their mouth and not giving them a chance to speak for themselves — not only is it not fair, it’s not doing our job.

If I ask a murder victim’s family member, “how are you feeling right now?” I’ve learned not to expect anything. Everyone has a different answer.

Sure, there are probably other ways to word it so it’s not seemingly as brash (and I personally seek out those other ways), but the gist is the same.

So while it may sound like the dumbest question we ask, it’s usually the one that leads to the most memorable and important answer — and, therefore, leaves more of an impact with the viewer.

That’s a fact that also helps explains why we try to talk to crime victims and those close to them… more on that next time.

Still have questions about this? Sound like a cop-out? Let me know. Comment below and I’ll address any responses.